Pause

With two empty cups in front of both Renolds and I, we seemed to be at the same pace. She took my hand and pulled me back into the throng of people.

We lagged in a back and forth daze as the world around us ran, pulsed, and twirled.

A piece of red hair slipped onto Renolds’ forehead. Her carefully perfected façade was no more; she was imperfect like the rest of us.

I could see how easy it would be to fall in love with her.

There was nothing else on my mind. No one else intruded my thoughts. My world consisted of me, Renolds, and a driving song.

 

I wanted to kiss those playful lips. I wanted to wrap my arms around her tiny waist. I wanted to hold her head under my chin and protect her.

Leaning in, I tested the water. She leaned in too. I gave an inch. She gave an inch.

 

We did not hesitate or stutter; we simply fell into each other and kissed. It wasn’t long or fast. There was no passion or heat. It was not anything more than two people meeting at the lips.

When we pulled away, Renolds looked at me with curiosity.

“You kissed me,” she stated.

“You kissed me back.”

Neither of us said anything or moved for a long while. Songs passed, the dance floor emptied and filled. We were a pillar in the fast paced room.

“Florence,” Renolds said. There was no command or question in her voice.

“Renolds,” I repeated. I let the letters slide off my tongue and rolled them around, tasting how it felt in my mouth.

Her name seemed pretty okay to me.

Her arms surrounded me; she was kissing me again. This time, her lips fell on my neck, my shoulders, my chest, my ears. I let her kiss me anywhere she pleased. We were no longer dragging, but swirling and swimming into the world of people.

The cold air hit us with a smack, but we didn’t separate. We periodically kissed but our hands never stopped venturing over the other’s body.

She opened the passenger door of her car and took a breath. “Pause,” she said, “We need to pause so I can get us home.”

The silence took over the kissing and feeling as soon as she closed my door. The way home was painfully long, but not painfully silent. Watching her in the darkness, I wanted her dress off. I wanted her skin on mine. I wanted to kiss her all over again. I wanted to feel. Something about Renolds seemed like a whole new frontier, a whole new possibility.

The apartment building loomed in front of us an eternity later. Looking at the building, my chest filled with all of the doubts I knew I should be having. I pushed them aside and placed a hand on Renolds’ as she parked the car.

“Play.”