Home

The sun was starting to rise as my eyes started to close. I pulled off to the shoulder of the road and sat back in the seat. I watched as the reds and oranges paved the way for the bright sun. My eyes felt too heavy and shut against my will.

    

“Wake up, sweetie pie!” A harsh voice screamed in my ear. I jolted up to find Renolds gripping the door. Hip cocked, she pulled me out of the driver’s seat and resumed her position. “Now that I’m sober, there will be no more of you touching my precious car,” she humphed and waited for me to settle into the passenger’s side.

“Now what?” I ask.

“We go home. Well to my apartment. You needn’t go home yet. Actually, you should just erase all notions of home.”

“Are you kidnapping me?”

Renolds’ laugh rang around the car, “Yeah right. Besides, you got in the car willingly.”

“Yeah…”

“What I meant was you never know where home is. Home doesn’t necessarily live in four walls. It’s wherever you long to be when you need a home.”

“Where’s your home?” I ask.

“In a bed, if you know what I mean,” she winked and let out a giggle. “I’m kidding. I haven’t found a real home yet. Homes are hard to come by. People who have them are lucky.”

I tried to think of my home. The swing by my tree in the middle of spring? No, that’s just comforting. My room? I don’t miss that a bit. My friends? They come and go. Nothing stable. Lika? She got me into this mess in the first place.

With a sigh, I nodded and watched the streets pass by. I didn’t know where I was. It was some highway between here and there. I wasn’t even sure where here or there was. So I decided to just breathe and go wherever I ended up.

Electric Kisses

Renolds was sitting in her car, sunglasses perched on her nose, in the middle of the lawn. I jumped inside and she recklessly pulled onto the road.

“You fucking idiot! Are you trying to get us killed?!”

“Hehe. No,” she clucked. “How was it?”

“Like sex and coffee.”

“Sounds scrumptious!”

“Not really.”

“I want Starbucks! No… I want Burger King… Do you want Burger King? It’s the best thing after sex!”

“Are you high?” I realized.

“No!” she laughed as she zigzagged on the road. The car stopped abruptly at in the middle of an empty road and didn’t move.

“You aren’t driving. You’re high. Give me the wheel,” I reached over but she hugged the wheel.

“No! No!”

I took the keys out of the ignition and crawled on top of her. I pinned her to the seat and took off her sunglasses. Red glassy eyes.

“Goddamn it, Renolds.”

“Are you going to kiss me?” she asked. Her eyes were a different kind of bright. Something shined under the green.

I leaned down and gently kissed her.

“Electric kisses!” she exclaimed and kissed me again.

She lowered the seat and got on top of me. “Now I can show you the right way to do things,” she grinned evilly. I let her go for it.

She lulled over and rested her head on my thigh. “I’m tired, Florence.” I pulled her next to me and stroked her cheek. “I miss Avie, Florence. Bring her back.”

I held her to me and shushed her. I didn’t know who Avie was, but I wouldn’t question. I laid her in the back seat, when she was finally asleep, and started driving. I didn’t have anywhere to go but that didn’t matter. You don’t always need a destination.

Sex & Coffee

Coffee Girl’s name was Elaine. She lived in a tiny apartment in the middle of nowhere. And she smelled of coffee. Everything she owned smelled like coffee. It was a little piece of caffeine purgatory. Too much of a good thing.

That was all I knew about Elaine. I didn’t even know her last name.

There we were, making out on her bed. Her hands were grabbing my hips. My fingers tangled in her hair. Her lips tasted like cherry lip-balm and vanilla. Her neck tasted like a vanilla frappuccino. Her body tasted like a long day at work and fabric softener.

And that brings me to the dreaded button. You undo it and suddenly you’re in a completely new world. You don’t open it, and you kill a land of possibilities.

“Go ahead,” she grinned.

I didn’t really have a choice after that. My shaking hands fumbled with it. It’s not that easy on someone else. It popped open with a sigh. Then I realized, I didn’t know what was next.

Pull the pants off? Go for everything else? Keep kissing her? I wondered again, what the hell was I doing?

She took charge and shimmied out of her black jeans. With a raise of an eyebrow, she flagged me forward.

 ***

Elaine wrapped her arms around me and kissed my neck. I pulled away and practically ran into the tiny bathroom. I sat on the edge of the tub and didn’t look in the mirror. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt odd and different. I felt… sexual? I wasn’t really sure what the feeling was so I kept breathing and didn’t think. I called Renolds and told her to hurry. She slurred a promise that she’d be there soon.

I walked back into the sex and coffee flavored room and pulled on my clothes.

“Where are you going, Florida?” Elaine said dreamily.

“I’m leaving. Go to sleep. By the way, my name’s Florence and this isn’t what I normally do,” I kissed her forehead and went to leave the room.

“Stay till morning,” she groaned.

“Sorry,” I lied and tiptoed out of the apartment.

Coffee Girl

The car rolled into a nearly empty Starbucks parking lot. Renolds practically pushed me out of the car and into the store. It smelled heavily of coffee beans and floor cleaner. “See that?” she asked.

I looked around but all I saw was a Starbucks. “What?”

“That girl behind the counter. She’s a fucking 6 at least. Take off the hat and put some effort into it, I’m pretty sure you can get a 7.5.”

Her sleek black ponytail bobbed side to side as she nodded to a costumer. Her pale, pink, plastered smile wavered and the light in her sand colored eyes faltered. Her hip cocked with a bit of attitude but she put on her happy face.

“Get it, Flo,” Renny winked and pushed me forward.

“How may I help you?” she asked in a tired voice.

“I… um…” I stuttered. What the hell was I supposed to say? How would I even know if she was gay or not? I couldn’t even think of a pathetic line that would prove I put forth effort. I just stuttered like an idiot.

“My friend thinks you’re hot,” Renny stepped in to save the day. Of course. Coffee Girl’s façade dropped. She gave me a confused look then, oddly enough, smiled.

“Really?”

“Um… yeah,” I smiled sheepishly.

“My shift’s almost over. I’ll meet you outside in fifteen minutes?”

“Um… yeah… sure.”

“Great. See you then,” she winked and bit her lip suggestively. I could see her undressing me with her eyes… what the fuck was I doing?

Ren pulled me outside and screeched “I got you a date!”

“More like a lay. She’s going to fucking rape me, Ren. What the hell am I supposed to do about her? I don’t know what to do! Am I just going to lay there and take it and when she expects a return, what? Fake my way through that too?”

“Oh my, Young One. What kind of learner are you? Visual? Auditory? Tactual? Must I show you, tell you or make you practice?”

“I don’t even want her to be inside me! I’m not losing my lesbian virginity for learning purposes!”

“The sacrifices people make for education…” Renolds rolled her eyes. “Well I’m going to tell you and you’re going to listen. It’s nothing hard. You just… feel your way around.”

“Well what if she wants more than that?” I panicked.

“Feel your way around. Respond to reactions. That’ll get you through life, Young One,” she patted my shoulder and started to walk away.

“Where are you going?!”

“I’m letting you fly solo. Don’t fall! And don’t get laid in the back of a car! That’s questionable… Call me when she leaves. Good luck!” She yelled from her car. I watched her drive away and wink at me.

“Hey. Are you ready?” Coffee Girl walked out and said.

“Hey…” I didn’t know her name... she smiled and led me away. I felt myself start to fall. There was no way I could get through that night. But I didn’t really have a choice.

Renolds

“What’s your name?” she asked me as we walked along the dusty road.

“Florence,” I said.

“What’s your story? Things not working out with your boyfriend, want to give the girls a try? Had a drunken one night stand and now you’re wondering if it means something? Just questioning in general?”

“How do you know?” I gasp.

She laughed a sing-song laugh and sighed. “Because I’m your guide. I have to know what I’m guiding you through, to, and for.”

“Well, I’m just questioning, I guess. I don’t really know…”

“Talk to me, love. I’m the only one who can help.”

“What’s your name?” I asked. “I can’t tell you my story if I don’t even know your name.”

The God(dess) looked over at me with emerald eyes shining inhumanly bright. “Sassy little thing, aren’t you?”

“I’m just being honest…” I trailed off.

“No need to apologize. I’m Renolds. You can call me Ren or Renny.”

“Okay, Ren. Well I… there’s this girl…”

“There often is a girl.”

“She kissed me… and I wanted her to… I didn’t want to kiss a girl before…”

“You’re lying through your teeth, Flo. I can tell a clenched mouth when I see one.”

“Well… Maybe I’ve thought about girls before…”

“And there’s the question. What the hell? Right?”

“Right,” I sighed.

“Well, I’m here now,” she grinned. I found it too easy to trust her. The whole setting was strange. A lone car was parked a few feet ahead. She unlocked it and opened the passenger door.

“Get in. It’s time we find you a girl, Miss Florence.”

“What?” she pushed me in and closed the door.

She leaned inside the rolled down window and explained, “This is a bicurious trip. You’re wondering what you are? Gay? Straight? Bisexual? Well, we’re just going to put you out there and see what you fall for more. Male or female? Or maybe both. But there’s no better way to tell than a few kisses. The sex is just a bonus,” she winked.

“What the hell?” I found myself asking allowed.

“You’ll know by the end of this trip,” she turned the key and with a lurch of the car, we were off on a bicurious adventure.

The God(dess)

Lights and years passed me by. I was falling out of the normal and straight into an episode of The Twilight Zone.

I hit the ground hard. A billow of dust flew lazily around me. It cleared to show a pair of red pumps. I looked up at two long, silky legs. Those were covered by a shiny black dress. The leather wrapped around her long torso. Hands on hips, chest out, proud: that’s what she was. Her flaming red hair was cropped close to her angel face. Her features were light, but the look on her face was something fierce.

She looked like a Goddess… And if she was, then I wanted to be the God to her Goddess.

“Who are you?”

“I’m you’re knight in shining pleather,” she grinned and held out a hand. “Get off your ass. Your dress is far too sexy for the ground.” She pulled me up and smiled.

“Are you a Goddess?”

“If that’s what you want to call me, then I’m the Lesbian God. Or Goddess,” she shrugged and smacked her candy colored lips.

The God(dess) led me ahead with a charm in the stride of those legs. I couldn’t help but follow her.

Leaving

The party picked up around us in a swirl of smoke and lights. The music banged on the walls and moved the people like it’s puppets. I watched the people moving in sync. Bodies pushing against bodies. Hands wrapped in clothing. Lips caught up in skin. Minds swallowed with lust.

I admired them all moving so easily. They looked happy and in tune with the world. Not like me, a constant outsider.

A boy pushed his back against another boy. Hands on hips, they swayed and kissed. Two girls were holding hands, watching the dancers. They were content. Everyone seemed to know everyone else. They didn’t mind the gay couples. They didn’t mind any of the couples. They just minded the pounding music surrounding them.

It looked so comfortable and nice. I almost walked in and found someone to dance with me, but a hand grabbed me by the waist and pushed me against the doorframe.

“Hi,” Lika said, her nose brushing mine.

“Hi,” I breathed.

“You’re irresistible in that dress,” she kissed my neck and traced her nose up my jaw.

Breathe, I reminded myself. In. Out. In. Out. Simple as that.

“I want you,” she whispered in my ear. She kissed my cheek and then settled on my lips. Her tongue slid into the crevices of my mouth and my knees went weak.

I fell into the darkness but never hit the ground.

The Kiss

I sat on Lika’s bed and watched her spill the contents of her closet. Shimmery green tops and black pants fell beside bright red dresses and skimpy pieces of cloth.

“Fucking closet. There’s nothing in here,” She sighed and looked at me.

“Oh!” she picked up the bright red dress. It was skin tight, like a tube awaiting a victim.

“That’d look good with your skin,” I tried to act like I had a clue, but I really didn’t. So I went back to flipping through her Seventeen magazine.

“I’m too fat for this,” I regarded the entire nothingness of her middle and didn’t question. “It’s for you to wear tonight, Flor.”

“No need to mock me,” I flipped the page absently. Lika threw the dress and it landed on the magazine.

“Wear it!” I sighed and obeyed. I tried not to notice Lika’s lingering eyes, but that’s kind of hard when you’re self consciously sliding into a too tight dress.

“Sexay thang!” she slapped my ass and winked. My cheeks grew hot with embarrassment as I wrapped a blanket around myself.

“No! We’re getting you laid in that thing! No covering up your sexy legs!” She kissed my thigh like it was the most normal thing and turned away.

I was super sensitive of every part of my body. My skin was on edge. My lips were tingling. My mind started stirring…

Lika lifted her shirt over her head, sweeping her hair up with it. I looked at her gorgeous, tan bare back. There was a splash of freckles on her right shoulder. I wanted to trace them and kiss them and…

“Staring?” she turned back and raised an eyebrow. I started to stutter, or maybe I just stopped in shock. I wasn’t aware of anything but the warm blood racing through my body.

Lika turned around, showing her bare chest. I caught my breath in surprise. She laughed and crawled onto the bed. She straddled my legs and pinned me down.

“Do you like what you see? I’m sure you do. You want me, don’t you? You little lezzy,” she purred and ran a stray hand down the front of my dress.

I wanted to pull her on top of me and take her, right then. But a sly smile that worked its way across her lips told me this was all a joke. A terrible, cruel joke.

She leaned down and kissed me, full on the lips. Her tongue traced my mouth then she bit my bottom lip and didn’t let go.

“What do you think about that?” I exhaled and closed my eyes. There was nothing I could say that wouldn’t fuck it all up.

“Oh shit! We have to get going,” I hid my face in a pillow as she stripped the rest of her clothes off and put on her slinky black dress.

High School

High School

The day she walked into high school I stopped and stared.

Her name was Malika. She strutted around like she was the most important thing that ever walked the earth. She had honey for hair and caramel for skin. And she probably tasted just as sweet.

That was the first thing I thought when I saw her.  I gawked at her full lips. She gave me these cold icy blue eyes. I literally felt those eyes freeze my blood.

I watched her walk toward me. Her hips swayed like a belly dancer. She was a ball of fucking sunshine. The sarcastic kind. I remember wanting her. I just didn’t realize it at the time.

“I’m Malika,” She said. Her voice was harsh but that didn’t deter from how hot she was. “You can call me Lika.”

“I’m Florence,” I mumbled back at her.

“You’re pretty cute Florence,” she winked and walked away.

I was 16. I should have been old enough to know that there were homosexual couples. I should have even had a gay friend or two. But I never met anyone who was gay. I never even saw two boys or girls hold hands. I was sheltered.

Every book I bought was screened for language (yet I have the mouth of a sailor). Every movie I saw was pre-watched for sexual content. And there was never any talk of anything unconventional or controversial in the house. My parents tried to act like “bad” things didn’t exist. I never even got the sex talk. I had to learn from my older sister.

Anyways. My household was certainly not the place where I would hear about these people. And in my school, it was no better. Everyone was raised like me. You’d think it wouldn’t be that way in modern day. I mean, it’s the 21^st century. People should know more. But I may as well have lived in the Victorian era.

So when this new girl came in, everyone was put a little bit off by her. Lika wasn’t necessarily out. But everyone knew she was different. I’m not saying that you can look at a person and tell that they’re gay. But when a girl is flirting with you, that probably says something (if you’re a girl, anyways).

The next few weeks, Lika would show up at my locker. She’d ask me about my day or tell me a story from English class. I would smile and listen to her. I figured she needed a friend and I was glad to help her with that. In a school where everyone knew each other since kindergarten, it’s hard to be the new girl. Besides, she scared me a bit.

After Lika had been around for a few months, we started hanging out. She told me all about her old school and her old friends. They were having some party. I’d never been to a party and certainly wouldn’t have been allowed to go. With the parents I had, you couldn’t do much.

So, I lied. Naturally. I’m a fairly good liar. It’s a gift that occasionally goes bad. I mean, I stared at girls for three years before it sunk in that I should think about that.

I’m getting sidetracked. I packed up things to spend the night at Lika’s and we went to this party. That was when things got a little topsy-turvey.

The Prologue

Stupid males and their penises.

If they can figure out the complexities of a vagina then certainly I, a woman, can too. It can’t be that hard. Especially if guys who can’t even do a simple math problem have no trouble with females. Then again, they’re driven by their stupid male penises…

Maybe I should reconsider…

Let’s rewind. Bed with girl. Renolds. The Lesbian God(dess). Leaving. The kiss. High school.

I wasn’t always into women, you know. I had my share of boyfriends. Of course by boyfriends, I mean middle school relationships. And by that I mean Mark Fletcher. That lasted two hours. We didn’t even hug.

But I always thought I was straight.

I wanted a guy, a man. The perfect quarterback. Not the head cheerleader. Though, I’m not much for the cheerleaders in my school. They’re rather peppy. And I’m rather… not.

Beside the point. I would boy scout with my friends. My eyes didn’t wander to the hot blonde’s ass. Then when she turned around, I certainly did not look at her perfect breasts...

Okay. I’m lying. But I didn’t realize I did any of those things. Not till much later when I would remember these girls. My mind would name them as “Hot Blonde”, “Sexy Lip Ring”, “Beautiful Blue Eyes”, and the like. When I would think of girls like that, I’d get a little concerned for my stance on love and life. I just never questioned.

It wasn’t until a girl caught me staring and kissed me did I question. But I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. Let’s start with the times I should have known.

The Bicurious Times of Florence Lee

Formerly straight Florence Lee has been pushed into a whirlwind of sex, girls, boys and a Lesbian God(dess). It all started with a kiss. Then she found herself at then feet of a glorious knight in shining pleather: Renolds (aka, the Lesbian God(dess)). Renolds saves her from her all-consuming questioning by throwing her into the bisexual mix. This is a story of sexual identity. These are the bicurious times of Florence Lee.
Viewer Descretion is advised: strong language, sexual encounters, homosexuality(which shouldn't have to be a warning but that's another rant for another day), and probably a list of other things to be added at a different date.
Enjoy!
~aerie