Le Disko

The bass pumped our hearts as soon as we passed the threshold of the club. ‘Le Disko’, the name of the club,was painted across the hallway to get into the actual club. We stepped into the club full of people with a breath of clarity.

The music got into our veins. Notes swayed our hips. Chords drove our movements. Lyrics decided our actions.

Renolds passed me a drink and I downed it without question. Astrid suddenly slipped my mind.

“Hey,” an accent called. I turned to find a handsome man with stubble and black hair. He seemed alright.

“Hey.”

“Will you dance with me?”

Nodding, I held out my hands for him. He swept me onto the floor, setting his lips on my ear. Each breath was a dissonant sound in my euphonic world.

His unnaturally large hand held my entire back. The other hand trickled down my back, cupping my ass.

I knew Renolds gave me that dress for a reason.

We swirled together in a lyrical haze. Spinning me around, he took my hips and moved them as he wished. A warm mouth nestled into my neck, licking up to my hairline.

I felt one hand trace its way up to my chest. Another hand felt down and grabbed my thigh.

I downed another drink.

A faster song came on and we were swept into a pit of bodies. Everyone thrashed and moved. We were a body of water, connected by waves of movement tied to measures of noise. We were no longer ourselves; we were pieces of music, pulsing to the heartbeat.
He took my hand and spun me into a corner. I could only see his eyes glowing in the darkness. His teeth took my bottom lip, making me cringe in pain. His sandpaper hands rubbed my skin, clawing their way into me. His burning breath scoured neck.

“I… I need a drink,” I stumbled, fighting my way off of him.

The crowd engulfed me again. I lost the black haired man but he left a heavy feeling in my chest. I saw a flash of red bobbing towards me. Soon enough, Renolds was taking my hand and running off to the bar with me.

“Do you need a drink? I need a drink?” She moved inhumanly fast while my world dragged on, blearily.

I found her at the bar and she handed me a lovely looking drink. This one I downed to forget the black haired man.

Sheltered

Renolds took one look at me and immediately shook her head. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to put on makeup?”

“Uh…”

“Poor unfortunate being… Aren’t you lucky I’m here?!”

“Well…”

“You are. You’ll thank me for it later. Or now, you know, possibly with monetary compensation. Or sexual compensation, I mean, I can’t say no to that.”

Playfully, I hit her arm and rolled my eyes. “You’re a hussy.”

“I’ve been told so before. Now sit and let me fix you!”

So I sat and let her fix me.

“Glossy lips. Black eyes. Smoky green shadow. There you go. I guess I need to teach you how to do a lot of things, Flo. You’re sheltered.”

“Not anymore,” I snorted.

“I’m slowly breaking through your bubble. Now stand up and let me see you.”

I stood and turned around, my straight hair falling on my shoulders. The dress just barely covered the hickeys. The fabric clung to my skin and hardly covered my ass (which looked quite nice, I must admit).

“Quite nice, don’t you think?” Renolds was behind me, wrapping her arms around me. No… that wasn’t Renolds. I was back in time a few hours, feeling Astrid’s arms snake around my waist. She kissed my neck, my shoulders…

“Florence… Florence?”

I snapped out of my mind and stared at Renolds.

“What are you thinking about?”

The story of my afternoon was on my lips. I could tell Renolds, it’d be easy. She’d get it. But…maybe she wouldn’t. I didn’t think Renolds would kick me out or take me home or anything. I didn’t really think Renolds would do anything much about it. The words just wouldn’t pass my lips.

“Nothing,” I managed to say.

“Well then. Let’s go.”

Most Definitely Not

“Go get your ass in a pretty dress and get ready to go to a club! We may have had a serious moment but it’s time to get back to work,” Renolds instructed as we reached her apartment building.

“Great…” I sighed.

“What?”

I was dreading what could come of the club, to say the least, but I couldn’t tell Renolds that. So I said, “I don’t know what to wear.”

“Never fear when you have my closet!” she dashed off and disappeared up the stairs. I followed at a leisurely pace and was greeted at the door by a beaming Renolds holding a tiny lavender, spaghetti strapped dress.

“Purple? This is not a color I’ve ever seen you anywhere near before.”

“It’s solely for borrowing purposes!”

“A community dress. How wonderful. I can’t wait to get it on…”

“Hush up and get dressed! The sun’s setting. We need to get going,” Renolds dragged me into the apartment and proceeded to push me into the bathroom with the purple dress.

“Sorry. I forgot you only have the night time to go outside,” I smirked.

“I’m deeply offended you’d compare me to a creature from Twilight. Now stop procrastinating and get your ass in that dress!”

She slammed the door in my face before I could make a remark. As I slipped off my shirt, I was straddling Astrid. Her hands lifted the weight of clothing off my skin without missing a beat in kissing me.

I looked around the bathroom as if waking up from a dream. I had actually been that close to Astrid… I had actually almost had sex with Astrid…

That was all too much to comprehend. So I shook my head of anything to do with her and put on my poker face. I had an entire day of sunlight to deal with that once morning hit. For the night however, there was no Astrid. That afternoon never happened. And I certainly did not have any hickeys on my boobs to cover up. Most definitely not…

I zipped up the dress, took the price tag off with a relief (I knew exactly where the dress had been), and ran my fingers through my hair. That night, I was going to lose my straight virginity.

Maybe.

Pretexts

“I had this…friend,” Renolds began as we walked. “I use the term friend loosely. She…got into some bad things and ended up…well, dead. Yeah… She’s dead.”

Her eyes glazed over for a long moment. She shook her head and took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly.

“I’ve never said those words out loud before. I don’t know if I ever even said it to myself before. It was hard, to say the least.

“I’m not the kind of person who frowns and hurts. I move on and live. I don’t linger. But it’s hard not to dwell on the past when that’s the only place where your best friend is.

“So, I left my old town. I ran away and I had no one. For a few years I was so lost in partying and drinking… I don’t remember those years well. Eventually I woke up in the apartment of a person I didn’t know for what I wanted to be the last time. I was done being lost.

“I got a job and an apartment. I’m still not tamed, per say, but I have limits.

“I know what it’s like to be lost. Hell, I still am. Hopefully, somewhere in the confusion that is my life, you’ll find yourself.”

Renolds shrugged and took a seat on the curb. It amazed me that a girl so tiny had such a long life in so few years.

I watched her slip off her flats and set her feet on the black pavement. Perfect red toes that walked her past losing everything wiggled like it was a breezy summer day.

“Now, what’s your sob story, Flo?”

I snorted. “Does the lack of one count?”

Renolds smiled, her eyes filling with mischief and excitement again.

“Come on. Let’s go home.” We walked arm in arm, with her shoes dangling from her hand. The word home seemed like a pretty okay description for the place we were going.

Purgatory

When Renolds asked what I did that day as we settled back into her cluttered apartment , I bit my lip and suppressed answering with “Astrid”.

“Nothing,” I said slyly. It was partially true, anyways. Keyword: partially.

“Jolly good. Now, how do you feel about penis?”

“Uh… what?”

“I know. It’s a scary thing, but your bicurious adventure has been fairly monotonous. What kind of tour guide to sexuality would I be if I didn’t show you everything?”

“The kind I’d like…”

“You can’t pick out a dress without seeing all the stores first.”

“Many people do,” I pointed out.

“Well not my followers. So, we are going clubbing tonight.”

“Great… I can already smell the liquor…”

“Don’t make that face at me, Flo! You need this. Trust me. Aren’t I your lesbian goddess or something?” The Bitch smirked.

“You’re lucky I don’t have means to leave,” I play threatened.

“What would you leave me for? And where would you go?”

“I…” I didn’t know. There wasn’t a home to go back to; that was merely a house with parents. My friends weren’t really friends. There was Lika, but I kissed and ditched her so that wasn’t an option. I didn’t know any of Renolds’ friends well enough. There was Astrid but our relationship was shaky and unsure.

All I had was Renolds.

Despite residing in a purgatory between home and hell, I was surprisingly at ease.

“I don’t know,” I finally said.

“And that’s why I’m here,” for the first time since I met, Renolds, she was serious. She rested a cool hand on mine and smiled weakly.

“It’s early. Let’s take a walk.” Pulling me off the couch, I watched her eyes flicker. Something dark was immersed in the green of her eyes. A secret. A past.

I followed, transfixed by the Renolds I hadn’t yet gotten to know.

'See You Later's

Tedd didn’t even flinch when he walked in. That made me incredibly nervous and self conscious. You see, I was pinned under his sister with only a bra on and her entire top was bare. Was it normal for him to walk into a scene like that? Was she a slut? And what the hell was I doing? How long had I even known Astrid? A few days...Then again, Renolds would be proud.

“I should probably get you back to Renolds,” I heard him say. I hoped he was averting his eyes… but I couldn’t see him past Astrid.

“That was…awkward,” I said when he closed the door. I rolled out from under Astrid and began regaining myself.

“We’ve had our fair share of awkward moments.”

“So he always walks in on you and another girl?” I half joked. The other half was fairly concerned.

“Can’t say that’s happened before. But when you’ve walked in on your brother in the middle of it with some other guy, he owes you an awkward moment.”

I sighed but found a worrisome lump stuck in my throat. There was another looming question. “So…”

“So…”

We stood at opposite ends of the bed, clothed, and fairly composed. The only sign of our afternoon was our disheveled hair.

“Is this it?” I asked.

Astrid snorted. “What, are you going away? Or sending me away?

“Yeah,” I smirked, “to Iceland. The box is postmarked and ready to go.”

“Aren’t I at least worth a flight?” she laughed a bouncing laugh, making me smile. “But honestly, you’ve been here, what? A week? And I’ve ran into you a multitude of times. We’ll see each other again.”

“But…”

“Look, you seem to be one of the few people who has a mind and a voice in this world. You intrigue me. And I know I intrigue you. I see the way you watch me. So, no, it’s not it. We’ll see each other again. Maybe we’ll do this again. We’re going to be friends at the least. And I’ll send you a post card from Iceland. Okay?”

“Okay…” I was hesitant. If we left our afternoon here, nothing could be made out of it. Which I wanted… or didn’t… God… I didn’t know.

I looked up from my pensive state to find her standing beside me, “Don’t worry kid,” she placed a hand on my cheek.

My heart flipped, my stomach turned. Goddamn it, Astrid. “I should go…”

“You should,” she said while her eyes screamed “stay here”. I turned away and left before I didn’t have the strength to do so.

“I’ll see you,” I said.

“You sure as hell will,” arms wrapped around my middle and a kiss was placed on my cheek. I was pushed out the door and on my way back to Renolds before I could comprehend what happened. 

Clarity

We were laying on her black comforter in her bed. I couldn’t help but be uncomfortably aware that she slept there. Every night (hopefully alone so I could change that).

The room smelled like her: fresh, slightly flowery, mostly clean and pure.

A movie I never saw played on the T.V. but I wasn’t watching. How could I watch a movie when Astrid was lying next to me?

Her hand was painfully close to my thigh; I could feel the heat from her fingers but not the weight of her palm. Her head was resting on my shoulder; her breath grazing my ear, driving me crazy. Her feet were brushing mine. She was so close… but not close enough.

“This movie is perfect. You can’t help but smile because of it,” she said.

I nodded. I was sure it was perfect and smile inducing, but I couldn’t focus. I felt Astrid’s eyes studying me so I looked at her.

There was a pause. The world stopped for a second. Nothing moved, no one breathed. The world didn’t turn. The oceans didn’t wave. No one said a word.

She leaned in, and she kissed me. It was soft and simple. A friendly peck. But it was a kiss.

My arms needed to wrap around her. My legs had to be tangled in hers. My lips required hers back on mine. She was suddenly my life support.

Yet, I didn’t crane my neck for more. I didn’t try to drape myself with her. I only looked at Astrid, neither of us moving.

“You’re allowed to kiss me again,” she said. It amazed me that she could find words in a moment like that.

Somehow, we ended up kissing. Our lips were pasted together. Our legs were intertwined. Our arms were enclosed with each other. We were a knot, tied together. Nothing was ever clearer than in those long kisses.

***Author's Note***

Sorry for the brief delay in the story for shameless self promotion but.. I've entered a scholarship contest with one of my stories and it would be lovely of you all to vote for my entry. Voting is until May 16th. Ten votes a day, everyday can be submitted. So support a budding author so she can get scholarship money, go to college, and become a real author...Please! It'd be much appreciated.
http://createrealimpact.com/view/8886
Here is a link to my entry. If you find any problems, just let me know or go to the website (Createrealimpact.com) and find a writing piece called The Incident. I appreciate any votes!
The Bicurious Times of Florence Lee will resume with a new post in the next few days.
Thank you
~aerie

Radiating

***Author's note: Sorry for the absense. But I'm back and posting now. A quick recap: Florence realizes Renolds and the last few nights with  her were not part of some drug induced dream. Now, with Florence intently not thinking about Astrid, Renolds leaves her with Tedd for the day and, much to her surprise, Astrid is there.***

After a long awaited grilled cheese, Tedd brought me his phone. He left me to make my call alone, but Astrid didn’t think to have the same courtesy. I wasn’t surprised though, she was a curious person. 

I was too busy not thinking about Astrid to worry about calling my house.

“Hello,” I said.

My mother broke into hysterics. All I caught was “Where have you been?!”

“Well…” I didn’t even think about my lie. “Not too far away. I met up with a friend and I’ve been staying with her.”

“Who? Why?!”

“Renolds,” I couldn’t think of her last name. Astrid, thankfully, passed me a note, “Renolds Willow. I needed a change in scene. Maybe it’s stupid, but I’m 18 now. I can stay with a friend if I want.”

“What about school? And you just turned 18! You can’t do this.”

“I’ll figure it out. I can make my own decisions. I’m fine and safe. That’s what matters. If that stance changes, I’ll let you know. Goodbye.” I hung up the phone.

Astrid’s blue eyes bared questions I wouldn’t answer. “You okay?” she asked.

“I don’t really care.”

“If you’re okay?”

“What my parents think.”

“Do they know you’re gay?”

I stopped. Had I mentioned that to her? I didn’t even know if I was gay… What the hell… My frustration grew and flitted across my face.

“You are gay, aren’t you?” I shrugged. “You just… you seem so. I’m sorry. You have gay vibes.”

I laughed out loud at this. “Gay vibes? Are we on acid now?”

“No. At least I’m not. But some people radiate gay. Other’s radiate straight. It’s something I see because I pay attention. Like right now you won’t meet my eye. You haven’t all day. You haven’t had that problem before so I know you’re uncomfortable. I pay attention to these things, Florence Lee. So I know.”

Nodding, I stood up to find Tedd again. “Are you mad?” she asked.

“No. Just… well. Exhausted. In the mental sort of way that sleep doesn’t help.”

“I know a way that will help,” Her eyes lit up with a grin. It wasn’t malevolent or provocative. It was an excited grin. So I let her take me by the hand and guide me away from the world I was constantly avoiding.

Surprises

Standing behind the counter, Renolds was talking to a guy. He was on the bulky side with brown hair and freckles. She waved me over, washing me in fear. Was she going to set me up with this guy? I was getting tired of her shenanigans. I needed a break.

“This is Tedd. With two d’s. He’s one of my old friends. He’s a nice kid. Today, you’re his responsibility.”

“Hey. You’re Florence, right?”

“Right… Um, Renolds…” Of course, she scurried off to take an order. “Hi,” I said.

“I won’t even ask what Renolds has put you through. I know her well enough to know questions aren’t welcome. You poor thing. Let’s take you to my place and get you a decent meal. When was the last time you ate something decent?”

I couldn’t remember.

“I’m so sorry for my friend. Come on,” so I followed the nice man. He seemed kind enough, and he honestly was.

We got into his car and drove away. “It’s been a strange week,” I said, “That’s the only reason I’d ever get into a car with someone I didn’t know.”

“I know. Renolds told me she found you frazzled and drunk. She’s a humanitarian, honestly. Can’t help but help the poor bastard who’s trying to stick the spoon in the outlet. That was a terrible analogy but Renolds does mean the best. She just shows it in odd ways.”

“She does…”

“But has she helped?” Tedd asked.

I pondered for a moment. “She has. I would’ve never, ever in my life experimented as much if it weren’t for her. She pushed me over the edge but I found it to be a two foot jump rather than the cliff I thought it was.”

“Wow. I’ve known you for five minutes and my senseless analogies are rubbing off on you.”

I laughed. Tedd was decent, more so than anyone I’ve met yet. “No offense, but how are you friends with Renolds? Her friends are so…”

“Extravagant. I know. I went to high school with Renny. We didn’t become friends until the summer after we graduated, though. She was different. Yet she’s shifted into this mold that’s all her own. She’s a character but you have to love her.”

“You do,” I nodded.

“Here we are,” we pulled into the parking lot of an apartment building. I recognized where we were for once, about twenty minutes from my house. I had no intentions or desires to go back, though.

“Hey, can I use your phone at some point?”

“Sure.” I knew I needed to call my parents. They shouldn’t have to worry about me. I was fine… mostly.

I followed Tedd up to his apartment. As he grabbled for his keys, the door swung open and I found myself staring, surprised, at Astrid.

“Tedd! Where did you go? You just disappeared and…” she cut off midsentence.

“Oh. Sorry Sis. I had a Renolds emergency and I had to go…”

“You picked up her stray I see,” I blushed. She waved us in and stared at me. Her words weren’t curt or mean. They were matter of fact.

Rigid, I sat down. I forced myself not to look at her. It was going to be hard enough spending the afternoon with Astrid when she was exactly what I was not thinking about.